Where Does Gratitude Come From?

In light of having recently celebrated Thanksgiving, I've been thinking about gratitude. How does it arise? When am I most grateful? Where does gratitude come from?

Gratitude is at the center of nearly every major religion. It is one of the two key duties in Islam (along with submission). In Taoism, gratitude is connected with humility. In Buddhism, gratitude is an important ingredient in compassion. In Christianity, gratitude is a key virtue. In Judaism, gratitude is at the heart of the concept of covenant.

Obviously, gratitude is at the heart of a spiritual life. So then why aren't we more grateful? I think part of the answer is that it is too easy to take things (and people) for granted. When something good happens, we often think "I deserve this," as if we are entitled to the gifts we receive. An entitlement mentality negates gratitude.

Where does gratitude come from? A wise sage whose name I can't remember once said, "Grace evokes gratitude like the voice evokes an echo." In other words, we are grateful when we get in touch with the fact that we are recipients of grace. Since grace, by definition, is unearned and undeserved, we cannot help but to be grateful when we receive it.

I am most grateful when I am most humble. When I become aware of the gifts of food, shelter, and companionship that have been bestowed upon me, and how little I deserve them, I become thankful. I once heard someone say that the most important prayer we can utter is two words: "Thank you!" Being able to say those two words and really mean them is to be grateful.

Too Much of a Good Thing...

The Thanksgiving feast is now over and I'm looking forward to leftovers. Thanksgiving and Christmas have become times for overindulging one's appetites for food and drink. In the past, I've eaten too much delicious Thanksgiving food. This year, I tried my best to eat enough to be comfortably full and had modest success.

When the food is so good, it's hard to stop enjoying it. My tendency is to keep eating until I'm stuffed like a tick. However, too much of a good thing isn't good for body or soul.

Just as it's possible to overindulge one's bodily appetites, it's possible to overindulge one's soul. Take whatever feeds your soul and imagine doing that activity over and over. At first, it may be enjoyable. But, eventually, even the soul can suffer from overindulgence.

In Buddhism there is the concept of "the middle way," a spiritual path between extremes of excess and deficiency. In Confucianism, there is the "doctrine of the golden mean," which emphasizes balance and harmony in one's life.

Just as a balanced diet is good for the body, a balanced inner life nourishes the soul. Finding the right balance between being and doing, between activity and inactivity is one of the important challenges of a spiritual journey. Avoiding the extremes is a good beginning.

"My Words Can't Carry All the Praise"

The Thanksgiving prayer below is based on one by Ted Loder (Guerrilla's of Grace, LuraMedia, 1984). Enjoy!

Gracious God,
how curious and what a confession
that we should set aside one day a year
and call it Thanksgiving.
I smile at the presumption,
and you you smile, too.
But the truth is, Holy Friend,
that my words can't carry all the praise
I want them to, or that they should,
no matter how many trips they make.

So this day, all is praise and thanks for
all my days.
I breathe and it is your breath that fills me.
I look and it is your light I which I see.
I move and it is your energy moving in me.
O think and the thoughts are but sparks
from the fire of your truth.
I love and the throb is your presence.

O Glorious One,
for this curious day,
for the impulses that have designated it,
for the gifts that grace it,
for the gladness that accompanies it,
I pause to praise and thank you
with this one more trip of words
which leaves too much uncarried,
but not unfelt, unlived, unloved.
Thank you!

What Type of Cook Are You?

With Thanksgiving approaching, it's good to reflect on cooking. Studies show that the person who buys and cooks the food has the biggest influence on family eating habits. These “nutritional gatekeepers” influence more than 70% of the foods we consume (2006 Report in the Journal of the American Diabetic Association). If you are the nutritional gatekeeper in your family, cooking with love means cooking healthy.

Cornell researchers questioned 770 family cooks and identified five different types: “giving” cooks who specialize in comfort food, especially baked goods; “methodical” cooks who rely mostly on recipes; “competitive” cooks who focus less on health than on making an impressive dish; “healthy” cooks who use fresh vegetables and ingredients but don’t focus much on taste; “innovative” cooks who like to experiment with ingredients and cooking methods. It turns out that “innovative” cooks produce the healthiest and tastiest meals overall.

My point in sharing this information is to help you identify your cooking personality so you know where your biases are. Once you’re aware of your cooking type, then you can decide to move toward a healthier, more innovative style of cooking that will benefit those you cook for.

Becoming aware of your cooking type is a step toward mindfulness in cooking. When you’re cooking mindfully, you are aware of the ingredients you are using and their effect on those who eat the food you prepare. You are also aware of the movements of cooking: preparing and mixing the ingredients, selecting the pots or pans, cooking the ingredients to perfect doneness, and arranging the food on dishes or plates. Cooking is an act of creativity and it can both express and enhance our inner life. Healthy cooking not only feeds our bodies, but also feeds our souls.

Hiking With Hunters

After guest preaching at Pawling United Methodist Church yesterday, I enjoyed a hike in Pawling Nature Reserve. Since the Appalachian Trail runs through this 1,000 acre reserve, I hiked along this famous path. The most spectacular feature I saw was a large waterfall in Duell Hollow Brook. The photo on the left is from the Nature Conservancy website.

This is hunting season in this part of the world and I shared the reserve with a few deer hunters. Orange vests were provided at the trail head so that hunters can distinguish hikers from deer.

Even wearing my orange vest, I felt a sense of wary anxiety during the hike. Although the few rifle shots I heard sounded far away, it stoked my uneasiness. I decided to cut my hike short.

I must admit that the knowledge of deer hunting nearby diminished the spiritual dimension of the hike. Fear is a formidable enemy of mindfulness. When you're focused on the possibility, however remote, of meeting a stray bullet, it's difficult to enjoy the beauty of your surroundings. I plan to avoid hikes with hunters in the future!

The Joys of De-Cluttering

Lately, Donna and I have been engaging in de-cluttering. After living in our house for ten years we've accumulated lots of stuff. Actually, we're going through stuff we moved with us from the previous house. For the past year, we've been sorting through this stuff stacked and packed in closets, attic, basement and garage. Some things we've thrown away and others we've given away.

What a great feeling it is to de-clutter! First, there's a glow of joy at having finally dealt with the accumulated mess. It's a good feeling when you can freely walk around in your attic or basement. Secondly, there's the joy of giving away things to those who can use them. Several local organizations, including churches and the Salvation Army, have been the beneficiaries of our de-cluttering.

I wonder if it's possible to de-clutter our hearts and minds? Certainly, dealing our emotional clutter (called "baggage") is a positive thing. In this case, de-cluttering means letting go of things that weigh us down or are destructive.

A de-cluttered mind is a clear mind able to focus. Meditation is one way we can clear our minds as the goal is a blank mind-- a mind free of distractions and disparate thoughts.

Obviously de-cluttering has multiple benefits. So, why don't I do it more often?

The Dwarfing Power of Nature

Since I had the day off from teaching yesterday, I spent the day climbing Slide Mountain, the highest peak in the Catskills (4,180 feet). In the photo on the left by Scott Larsen, Slide Mountain is the tallest peak in the background.

This hike was a favorite of John Burroughs, a 19th century naturalist and nature writer. He was the John Muir of the Catskills and there is a plaque in his memory near the top of Slide. Here's what he wrote about the view from the summit:

"The works of man dwindle, and the original features of the huge globe come out. Every single object or point is dwarfed; the valley of the Hudson is only a wrinkle in the earth's surface. You discover with a feeling of surprise that the great thing is the earth itself, which stretches away on every hand so far beyond your ken."

I, too, had a sense of looking into eternity while on the summit of this heavily forested mountain. On a clear day, you can see 34 of the 35 peaks above 3,000 in the Catskill range, as well as the Hudson River valley far in the distance.

John Burroughs reminds me that the works of nature dwarf the works of humans. That's a humbling, yet uplifting, thought. When we become aware of how vast and endless is the universe, we recognize our own smallness and insignificance. Yet, as the Psalmist observed, we are each valued and loved by the Creator of all that is. Significance has been bestowed upon us as an act of grace.