What Type of Cook Are You?

With Thanksgiving approaching, it's good to reflect on cooking. Studies show that the person who buys and cooks the food has the biggest influence on family eating habits. These “nutritional gatekeepers” influence more than 70% of the foods we consume (2006 Report in the Journal of the American Diabetic Association). If you are the nutritional gatekeeper in your family, cooking with love means cooking healthy.

Cornell researchers questioned 770 family cooks and identified five different types: “giving” cooks who specialize in comfort food, especially baked goods; “methodical” cooks who rely mostly on recipes; “competitive” cooks who focus less on health than on making an impressive dish; “healthy” cooks who use fresh vegetables and ingredients but don’t focus much on taste; “innovative” cooks who like to experiment with ingredients and cooking methods. It turns out that “innovative” cooks produce the healthiest and tastiest meals overall.

My point in sharing this information is to help you identify your cooking personality so you know where your biases are. Once you’re aware of your cooking type, then you can decide to move toward a healthier, more innovative style of cooking that will benefit those you cook for.

Becoming aware of your cooking type is a step toward mindfulness in cooking. When you’re cooking mindfully, you are aware of the ingredients you are using and their effect on those who eat the food you prepare. You are also aware of the movements of cooking: preparing and mixing the ingredients, selecting the pots or pans, cooking the ingredients to perfect doneness, and arranging the food on dishes or plates. Cooking is an act of creativity and it can both express and enhance our inner life. Healthy cooking not only feeds our bodies, but also feeds our souls.

A Meal Is About More Than Food

Last night I enjoyed a dinner with two long-time good friends. We dined at a restaurant we've been going to for more than 20 years so everything was familiar and relaxed. The table conversation was lively with repartee, teasing and discussion about family, politics, and life.

Sharing food and conversation during a meal isn’t simply a social interaction. When we share a meal together, something deeper and richer occurs. At times, we realize that we aren’t only sharing food and words, we are sharing ourselves. This is how a meal becomes a soul-nourishing experience. As Henri Nouwen writes:

"The table, the food, the drinks, the words, the stories: Are they not the most intimate ways in which we not only express our desire to give our lives to each other, but also do this in actuality? I very much like the expression “breaking bread together” because the breaking and the giving are one."

A meal shared with close friends or a loving family is one of the great experiences of life. When we’re at table, we can be fully present for each other and live in the moment. Laughter is one sign that the meal is soul-nourishing. When we’re truly enjoying ourselves, we are connecting with others on a deeper level.

On the other hand, a meal where those at table are angry with one another or where there is unspoken tension is a soul-sapping experience. We’ve all experienced “painful silences” during a meal and it’s not pleasant. Even worse are meals where harsh words are exchanged.

I’ve experienced both kinds of meals and so have you. That’s why we do whatever we can to make our meals good experiences. Yet, despite our best efforts there will be unpleasant meals. When those occur, a good dose of detachment and non-reactivity can make such experiences at least tolerable. At its best, table fellowship feeds body, mind and soul.