The Importance of Recentering

I find that how I begin my day can have an out-of-proportion effect on how the rest of the day goes. A bad beginning too often leads to a bad middle and end. But does this necessarily have to be the case? I don't believe it does.

A few mornings ago, my day began in mild chaos. While my spouse was drying her hair, the power went off. I was awakened from a sound sleep by her urgent plea to go to basement to reset the circuit breaker so she wouldn't miss her train. Also, because of the power interruption, the wifi stopped working and she needed to send an email before she left. So I trudged upstairs to the modem and reset it.

All of the above occurred at 5:30 a.m. I was wide awake by the time these tasks were completed. It was too dark to go rowing, so I went to my basement and did a workout on the rowing machine. This hard workout somewhat redeemed the chaotic start. I was calmer and more centered afterward, especially after a hot shower and breakfast. The day went much better after this.

When a normal morning routine is interrupted, it can "ruin" the rest of the day if we let it. For me, the best way to begin a day is in silence as we awaken to the possibilities that await us. A quiet time is a great way to ease into the day and prepare ourselves mentally and spiritually for the tasks ahead. But, we aren't always in control of how our day begins, as my story above illustrates.

So what happens when your morning routine is interrupted? If possible, it's best to not empower the chaos to effect the rest of the day. If a beginning is negative, try to do something positive that will help you get back your emotional and spiritual stability. Just because we get knocked off-center doesn't mean we can't recenter.

Gratitude and Deprivation

Why does it take being deprived of something to make us appreciate it? I've been pondering this question lately. For example, I routinely get a good night's sleep, but when I have a bad night of sleeping, I suddenly become thankful for all those good nights. Another example. It's been raining in Connecticut for the past two days and I'm thinking back with gratitude about the string of sunny, warm days last week. Must gratitude depend on deprivation?

I recognize that that it is "human nature" to take the good things of life for granted. Yet, this is a part of my human nature I am striving to overcome. I want to be thankful for the multitude of gifts that are part of my daily routine: enough food to eat, a roof over my head, satisfying work, opportunities for recreation, good health, and a good night's sleep.

The key to cutting the tie between gratitude and deprivation is to work at being continually thankful for the routine gifts of life. This involves a shift of attitude and focus toward the goal of giving thanks throughout each day. Here are some practical suggestions. When you awake, lay in bed for a few minutes giving thanks for a full night's sleep. When you eat a meal, offer a silent or spoken grace for it. When you take a bath or shower, offer thanks for the gift of water. And the list goes on and on.

Naming the gifts we continually receive is a way of giving rise to gratitude without having to be deprived of something. Nothing good in life need be taken for grante

The Palms and the Passion

At the worship service I attended yesterday, there were two foci. First, we celebrated Jesus' triumphal entry into Jerusalem. Then, the mood of the service shifted as we heard the Passion story from Matthew's gospel. The palm cross on the right symbolizes the blending of Palm Sunday and the Passion story.

For many liturgical churches, the traditional Palm Sunday has become Passion/Palm Sunday. The reason? Very few persons attend Holy Thursday and Good Friday services. Therefore, many go from the great celebration of Palm Sunday to the greater celebration of Easter without engaging what happened during Holy Week. Namely, Jesus' Passion.

The word passion comes from the Latin passio which means "to suffer." Jesus certainly suffers on many levels after the Triumphal Entry. He suffers the betrayal, denial and desertion of his closest followers. He is arrested, suffers a trial that is a mockery of justice, is flogged and crucified. On the cross he is taunted and mocked. Passion is the right word for this series of painful events.

I don't believe that you can fully enter into the joy of Easter without having understood the tragedy of the Passion. These are intertwined and inseparable. You can't have a resurrection without a death. For this reason, I'm glad that Palm Sunday has become Passion/Palm Sunday.

The Yin-Yang Symbol

The central symbol of Taoism is the yin-yang. In Western thought, we see good and evil, black and white, male and female as opposites. In the yin-yang, there are no sharp dichotomies. Rather, there is a sense of balance, flow and interrelationship.

The yin-yang teaches us that life is complex. While we may want to see things in clear, simple terms of black/white or good/evil, the truth is that both of these sets of "opposites" are present in us and, often, at the same time.

In the yin-yang there is a "both and" rather than an "either/or." I find this a helpful way of understanding reality and humanity. For example, there is a tendency in our highly polarized political process to demonize those who are on the "opposite" side. Each political party views the other as totally in the wrong. Yet, the reality is that each side has some good and bad, some truth and delusion.

Spiritually, the yin-yang can help us understand the complexity of our spiritual life. The spiritual realm is not separate from the physical world and vice versa. Spiritual and material are intertwined and interrelated. For a full and whole life we need both spiritual and material. Balance and flow are the nature of reality.

The Unfamiliar Territory of Loss

At my chronic pain support group yesterday, we had a profound conversation about grieving. I attend this group regularly as a "spiritual advisor," but often find that I am the one who benefits, as happened yesterday.

Members of the group spoke eloquently about what they had to give up as a result of their pain. One man had to give up a charter boat business and was clearly grieving for that loss. Another person had to deal with the limitation of arthritis and giving up the competitive sports that she loved. Another woman spoke of losing her husband, son, and closest friend to death in a period of a few years.

Such losses are painful and can thrust us into unfamiliar territory where we feel lost and alone. These losses create the need to rebuild a new life and form new relationships. Pain is a limitation, but we can recreate a new life within the limitations it places upon us.

What was inspiring about these stories of loss and grief was the resilience of the sufferers. None of these persons were throwing in the towel or giving up. Rather, they were struggling to find a new way through unfamiliar territory. This discussion caused me to rethink how I will deal (and have dealt) with the losses that inevitably will come.

Tax Return Hell

The reason this blog is on the later side today is that I'm in tax return hell. Every year around this time, I take everything from our tax drawer and sort it into piles on our dining room table. Then I begin the laborious process of gleaning the relevant information from these piles and adding up the totals for our return.

I have a love/hate relationship with this process. I don't like the sorting and adding, but I really don't mind filling in numbers on the tax forms. I think this is because dealing with numbers is so very different that how I spend most of my time. As a teacher and writer, my life is filled with words that I speak or write. Filling in numbers feels like a break from my word-dominated life.

Of course, the painful part of filling in numbers is that last number: amount owed to the U.S. Treasury. I take some small comfort in the saying, "Taxes are the price we pay for civilization." That being said, civilization is expensive!

Is there anything spiritually fulfilling about doing taxes? Yes. Getting them done! Like any project that hangs over your head, it's a relief to complete it and know that you have an entire year until you have to do it again.

Sabotaging Success

We've all heard about the fear of failure. Did you know there is also a fear of success? Everyone assumes that people want success and happiness. Yet, there are persons who pursue paths that lead to pain and disappointment.

In today's New York Times an article, "Sabotaging Success, but to What End?" by Dr. Richard Friedman explores the reasons persons engage in self-defeating behavior. Friedman, a professor of psychiatry at Weill Cornell Medical College, believes there is a "hidden psychological reward" in this kind of behavior. Basically, it allows a person to blame others for their disappointments and failures.

Self-defeating behavior also exists in the spiritual realm. The difference is that when we suffer failures here, we tend to blame God. We can believe that failures and disappointments are ways that God disciplines us for our unfaithfulness.

This view of God-as-disciplinarian goes against everything I believe about a loving God who can be fully trusted. God doesn't send failures to punish us or pain to get our attention. We bring these things upon ourselves by our own choices. We need to accept responsibility for our failures.

Even those negative things that happen to us accidentally are not God's doing. There is randomness in our world and we need to learn to accept it. The way to deal with self-defeating behavior is to (1) accept responsibility for our choices, (2) accept the randomness in creation. God wants us to enjoy abundant life, not to sabotage success.