SIlent Driving

Lately, I have been turning off the radio or CD player in my car so that I can enjoy a few minutes of silence. At first, driving in silence seems strange. There are so few places in our lives where we experience silence. Yet, silence feeds the soul in ways different than music or words.

When you think about it, our lives are filled with noise. Much of this noise is in the background and we become so used to it we don’t even notice it. We once lived in a house a few blocks from Interstate 95. At first, when we sat out on the deck in the evening, we were conscious of the almost constant traffic noise. But after a few months, we didn’t “hear” it any longer and when friends would come over and comment on the noise we were surprised. Then, we moved to a house much farther away from the highway. It was so quiet that, at first, we couldn’t sleep at night! Eventually, we got used to the quietness. Yes, silence takes some getting used to.

Praying is one of the most spiritual acts. In prayer, we bring all that we are to God in words spoken, thought or felt. When I use the word “prayer” I am referring to the fullness of kinds of praying: praise, thanksgiving, confession, intercession and supplication. However, we can fall into the trap of viewing prayer as a one way street: us communicating to God. The other dimension of prayer is listening. And to listen, we must be silent.

Silent driving opens up the possibility of listening to God and to our innermost selves. The great 20th century spirituality writer, Thomas Merton, once said, “God speaks to us in three ways: in the words of scripture, in our deepest selves, and in the voice of the stranger.” When we are driving in silence, we especially are open to hearing God speaking in our deepest selves, our souls.

Driving As A Spiritual Adventure

This past weekend, I took two trips that involved about 10 hours of driving. On Saturday, my wife and I drove to the lovely village of Litchfield, CT to browse shops and have lunch. On Sunday, I drove to Saratoga Lake, NY for the Head of the Fish rowing regatta.

Both drives were through peak fall colors. The Sunday drive included the picturesque Taconic Parkway, a scenic road through forest and farmland. There were many "ohs" and "ahs" in praise of the scenery and I found these drives spiritually nourishing.

In addition to beautiful scenery, there is another reason why driving can be spiritually nourishing. When you're heading out of town on the open road, there is a sense of joyful freedom. There is both the relief of getting away from the stresses of daily life and the thrill of seeing new places and new sights. You feel as if you're embarking on a new adventure like the early explorers who set out into the American wilderness.

Driving can be either boring or exciting. Everything depends on the attitude we bring to this activity. I guess you could say this about almost every activity of life. However, I believe our attitude especially affects driving, whether we find it soul-feeding or soul-sapping. I think the key is whether we view driving as a means-to-an-end (i.e. getting to our destination asap) or whether we see it as an activity through which we can have a deeper connection with God’s creation.

I try to view driving in the latter way, although I don’t always discover a spiritual connection while driving. Like any activity, experiencing the spiritual dimension of driving takes practice. But, at its best, driving can be a spiritual adventure.

Drive Like A Buddhist

When our seventeen-year-old sons got their “learners permit” they were allowed to drive with a parent in the car. Because I worked close to home, I became the parent designated for this frightening task. When riding with either of our sons, I was surprised at how upset they got when another driver didn’t do what they were “supposed to.” The category of “not driving as you’re supposed to” included: other drivers who didn’t signal before changing lanes; drivers who cut in front of us making my son slam on the brakes; drivers who drove too slow. Any unpredictable move on the part of another driver would cause my sons to scream at this “idiot” (and some even worse names were used).

At first I was stunned at the intense reaction these unpredictable drivers evoked in my sons. Surely, they hadn’t learned such behavior from me? Of course they had. Although I didn’t get as upset as my sons, I did express irritation and frustration toward other drivers who weren’t driving as they were “supposed to.” I knew that I had to first change my driving behavior and set a better example. But, even after I cleaned up my driving act, my sons still were prone to angry outbursts at other drivers.

So I came up with this advice, “Drive like a Buddhist.” This got the desired response, “What does that mean?” So I explained. Buddhists have two principles they use in their spiritual practice. The first is “detachment.” They try to look at everything that happens in their lives with a detached objectivity. By becoming detached, you become an observer of your own life; this serves to calm strong emotions. The second Buddhist principle relevant to driving is “non-reactivity.” This involves achieving emotional detachment from events. To be non-reactive is to view events that happen with a calm objectivity These two principles have earned Buddhism the epitaph of being a religion with a “cool head” (objectivity) and “warm heart” (compassion).

Actually, driving like a Buddhist does enable driving to have some spiritual benefits. Once you overcome your negative emotional reactions, you stop expending negative energy and pave the way for a soul-nourishing experience.