The Doldrums

The "doldrums" is a nautical term describing the calm winds near the equator. Also, called the "equatorial calms," the doldrums affect the Atlantic, Pacific and Indian oceans.

Even though we're far north of the equator, I've experienced this phenomenon while sailing in Long Island Sound on a hot summer day when there is no wind. It's no fun to be in the doldrums. The heat and lack of wind can be stifling.

There are doldrums in our spiritual lives as well. These are times of stagnation and even listlessness, where we don't seem to be moving in any direction. The monks had a name for the spiritual doldrums. They named this time of stagnation "acedia," a word meaning "inability to care."

When the desert fathers and mothers struggled with acedia, they were told to go back to their cells and wait it out. This advice is still valid. When we're in the spiritual doldrums, our tendency is to try to will or work ourselves out of it. We mistakenly believe that if we "just do something" we can overcome acedia.

Being patient and confident enough to ride out the doldrums and wait for them to end is counter-intuitive. However, those who are able to be calm in the doldrums can emerge from them stronger and more grounded in their spiritual lives.

"Acedia and Me"

One of the books I've been reading this summer is Kathleen Norris's excellent "Acedia and Me: A Marriage, Monks and A Writer's Life." Acedia is an archaic word that has several meanings. Most basically it means "an inability to care; indifference; apathy." Acedia was eventually absorbed into the category of "sloth" but it is more complex than simple laziness.

Acedia was considered the greatest challenge by the desert monks of Early Christianity. It was called "the noontime demon," an allusion to it being in plain sight but still very debilitating. The symptoms of acedia are very like those of depression. Norris believes that much of what is diagnosed as depression is really acedia at work.

For the monastic life the "cure" for acedia was to continue on with your life as usual, even if you didn't feel like it made a difference. This "fake it until you make it" strategy seemed to work. After a time of going through the motions, monks would report a return of their ability to care and their energy.

Acedia is still a threat to living a spiritual life. It can lure us into thinking "what I'm doing doesn't matter." That thought can plunge us into indifference or, worse, despair. At such times, it's important to keep pressing on and being patient with ourselves. These difficult times in this "spiritual desert" are preparing us for future times of renewal and spiritual fertility.